Equilibrium
by RainaLaRae
Summary: She waited 4 years for him. When he doesn't show up, she has to go out on her own. After a year alone, she finally has everything she wants and needs, except him.
1. Chapter 1: Beginnings

**I've been excited to release this story. So here we are. This has nothing to do with my other story The Fall. No one is the Dragonborn, unless I decide to bring in another OC as the DB later on.  
**

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****_For Kira Mackey. She said I should, because let's face it, I really wasn't going to._

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**Chapter 1: Beginnings**

_Five years ago..._

As the children of Honorhall Orphanage ran around giggling and playing in the small courtyard, no one bothered the two oldest kids who sat on the ground behind two trees.

One of the kids was River, a small Breton girl with white hair with a hint of blue, hanging over her shoulder in a braid and eyes as blue as the sky. The other kid was Isaac, a stocky Nord boy with silver eyes and dark brown hair with streaks of white running through it. He had half of his hair up a strip of leather.

Isaac was watching River pick at the tip of one of the black gloves that usually donned her hands.

They were having the same discussion that they had multiple times already.

"I don't want you to go tomorrow. You can't leave me here with all these children," she whispered so only he could hear. "I know you don't, but Anna said I couldn't stay here even when I offered to help," Isaac replied, laying a hand on her leg.

"Why can't you take me with you? I can help you with anything that needs to be done," she said. "Because, love, I don't have a house and you're only fourteen, they won't let me take you. I don't have a home for you or for me," he said.

"We can build one. I helped my father make ours before and I was much smaller than I am now," she said, wiping at her traitorous eyes. "I have no doubt about that, but you're still too young," he replied, reaching for her hands.

She jerked her hands away before he could get them. "No, I still can't control it and I don't want my head to hurt," she said, remembering the pain from the ache last time she ran her fingertips over him. "They say practice makes perfect," he joked, trying to lighten River's mood. She huffed out a laugh and looked up at him and gave him a soft smile.

"That's my girl," he said, smiling back at her. "I got you something the other day. Brynjolf wouldn't tell me where he got it, but he said you might like it," he said, pulling out a small piece of folded black linen. He dropped it in her hand.

She found a black leather necklace that had a small fang attached to it in the folded linen. "Oh, Isaac, it's wonderful. I love it," she said, pulling her hair up. "Will you tie it?"

He nodded and took the necklace from her, wrapping it around her neck. Once he tied it tight enough, he moved away from her and watched as she ran a finger across the fang. "I know it's not much, but it's something from me," he said. She nodded. "Thank you, I love it."

"Come on in, children. It's time to eat then it's off to bed," Anna called to everyone. Isaac got up and pulled River up with him. "Come on, love. Can't wait any longer," Isaac whispered to her, pushing her ahead of him. Anna smiled at them when they walked by her.

River slipped on her gloves and helped situate the little ones at the long table so everyone could sit down and eat what looked like apple and cabbage soup.

After the little ones had finished eating and washed up, Isaac and River helped get them into their beds. "Thank you, you two. It's getting so hard to do anything nowadays," Anna said, rubbing a hand over her large belly. River smiled at her. "It's not a problem, Anna. You should get some rest," Isaac said, ushering the woman into her room.

When they were satisfied everyone was asleep, Isaac and River snuck back out into the courtyard. Isaac pushed River up against the stone wall of the orphanage and he slipped off her gloves. "Practice makes perfect, love."

"Right now?" She asked. He nodded. River put her bare hands on his arms and concentrated, looking Isaac in the eyes. He watched as the white circles came up in her eyes. After a long moment, she huffed. "It's not working. I can't." The white circles disappeared.

He grabbed her hands, putting them on both sides of his face. The white circles immediately came back and he felt a jolt of heat run through him.

_River. River. River. _He chanted her name in his mind.

"I hear you," she said out loud, grinning, eyes flicking back and forth between his.

_Say it here. Say it._

_I-I hear you._

_You're doing it, love._

They stayed outside practicing until the rain came and River went to sleep without any aches.

The next morning, Anna let River go with Isaac to the city gates. He stopped by the marketplace to say goodbye to Brynjolf and Brand-Shei. At the gates, he turned to River.

"This is where you have to stop and I have to keep going," Isaac said, hugging the small girl. She cried into his shirt.

"I'll come back for you. I promise. In four years, I'll be outside at the stables, waiting for you. I promise," Isaac whispered into her hair. "I promise."

River looked up at him. The white circles were still in her eyes. "Please," she pleaded. He shook his head. "I can't."

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss at the corner of her mouth. "Four years. I promise, River."

With that, he walked out Riften's gates and she found her way back to the orphanage and into Grelod the Kind's waiting grasp.

* * *

_One year ago..._

River listened to Grelod hit one of the children as she packed her small amount of things.

Grelod went by River without a glance, mumbling something about "stupid little brats." River scowled.

Today was supposed to be a good day, she turned eighteen yesterday and today she could leave this gods damned place.

Soon, she had all her things packed and ready to go. Looking around one last time, she went to tell Grelod she was leaving. She found the old crone snoring at her table, head nearly touching her food.

River fought the urge to kill the old woman after everything she had done in the past four years. She had actually killed a little boy and gave River the three long scars that now marred her face. Before she thought of it, she pulled a small knife out of her boot.

She grabbed a handful of the woman's greasy hair and held the knife to the still sleeping woman's throat.

"Sweet dreams, bitch," she hissed in the woman's ear, quickly slitting her throat. Letting her fall back to the table with a thud, she put the knife next to the woman's head.

She walked out of the room and calmly shut the door behind her. Runa Fair-Shield had sat up in her bed and River walked over to her, laying the girl back down and putting a hand on the girl's cheek.

_Sleep, little one. You will not suffer any longer. You are safe. Constance will take care of you._

Runa's eyes slowly closed as the girl was taken by sleep again.

River grabbed her things and walked outside and through the marketplace. Riften was covered in a thick fog this morning and it made a chill run down River's spine.

She made it outside to the stables, but no one was there except the stable keeper. "Eh, what do you want?" He asked.

"Has there been a Nord around here? Brown hair with white streaks. Tall," she asked. "Not one with brown hair. One with pure white hair, whiter than yours. Wait a bloody second. Are you River?" The man asked.

"Yes. Why?"

"He brought her to you yesterday. Left without waiting around. Said there was a note in the bag," the man said, pointing to a gorgeous white mare in the stable. River's brow furrowed, but she walked up to the mare anyways. The mare snorted at River and she ran a hand down the horse's nose.

She found a piece of paper in the small bag on the saddle. She unfolded the letter and read the words.

_River,_

_I know I promised I would be there, but something came up. I have jobs to do now and I've been all over Skyrim. I barely made it to Riften to get your horse there. I don't know when I'll be able to see you. Go to Whiterun in the meantime. You'll find jobs there._

_I'm so sorry._

_Isaac_

She frowned and crumpled the paper in her hand. Her mare snorted again and she smoothed a hand down the horse's neck.

_Fuck your Whiterun, Isaac._

She climbed up into the saddle, situating her bags. "Come on, girl. We're going to Windhelm for a while," she told the horse, digging her heels into its side.

_I should think of a name for her._

River rode off into the fog without looking back at the city that had been her home for seven years.

She wouldn't miss it.

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**That's that. Review?**


	2. Chapter 2: Demons

**Chapter 2: Demons**

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_When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It's where my demons hide  
Don't get too close  
It's dark inside  
It's where my demons hide  
"Demons"-Imagine Dragons_

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_Present day..._

River watched as Valtik nailed the last board into place for the stable's gate. "There. It's done. No thanks to you," Valtik grumbled. River laughed. "Don't be so surly, Val. Now our horses won't run off or fall down the cliff," she said, patting the dark elf's shoulder.

"I don't know why your bloody house didn't come with a stable. Who doesn't own a horse in this frozen wasteland?"

"The previous owners obviously. Now come on, let's get Stati and Vren in here before they tear up my tree."

"Somehow I don't think that will be a problem," Valtik sighed.

River turned around to see that the two horse had gotten their ropes loose from the large tree and were now headed towards the bridge leading away from the house.

"Stati! Vren!" Valtik yelled.

River let out a sharp whistle that made the horses stop in their tracks. Slowly the two made their way back to their owners.

"Good for nothing horses. Always trying to run off," Valtik grumbled, pulling Vren into the stable.

"Oh, the big, bad elf doesn't mean it girl," River cooed to Stati.

Valtik scoffed. "Oh, but I do mean that. So very much."

"Well, let's see if they get out of this," River said, pushing on the now locked gate.

Valtik hummed a quick response and turned to River. "Come on, little one. Let's see what Ramsey has concocted tonight." He picked River up and threw her over a shoulder.

"Val! Put me down!"

"Do not call me Val."

River reached around and curled her fingers around a pointed ear.

_You put me down right now, elf._

_No and get out of my head._

_Not until you put me down._

When he didn't put her down, she let her hand fall away from his ear.

Valtik chuckled and squeezed her calf. "Good girl." River sighed in response.

Inside, Valtik carried River all the way to the kitchen before he let her down.

"Ramsey! What have you fixed tonight?" Valtik asked the cook, peering into the pot. "Vension stew. Nothing special tonight," the cook replied in a thick Nordic accent.

"That's not so bad, right River?" Valtik turned around when she didn't answer. "River?"

* * *

River stood with her back to the door, looking down into the pool that was in her room. She heard the first door shut quietly and heard the sound of Valtik's boots on her rug. He stopped in the open doorway when he saw her.

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Don't you knock?"

He leaned against the door frame. "I did. Twice. Called your name as well." She hummed and turned back to the water.

"River?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?" He asked, walking up behind her. "Yeah. I'm fine, Valtik."

"You're a liar," he said, curling a hand around her neck and undoing her braided hair with the other. "You don't have to lie. You can be not okay every once and a while."

River sighed. "I know that."

She stepped away from Valtik and into the water. "I'll be down in a few minutes."

"I've heard that before. Just make sure to eat something," he replied and walked back out.

River sighed when she was alone and slid under the water's surface.

* * *

"Ramsey! Take off your hat and come sit at the table with me," Valtik said, reaching for the cook's hat. "No, I cannot do that, sir. Lady River might get angry," Ramsey replied, batting Valtik's hands away from his hat.

"Oh, Ramsey, how many times have I told you to not call me a lady and to eat at the table with us?" River asked from the doorway. Valtik looked up at her and smirked. "Watch it, Ramsey. Don't trust her."

"Shut up, Val. Come on, Ramsey. Eat with us," she said, smiling at the cook.

Dinner was easy, River laughed at Ramsey scolding Valtik for his joking and they talked about getting someone else to join their small family.

After dinner, River escaped to one of the highest branches on the tree. That's where Valtik found her an hour later, staring up at the stars.

"Come down from there. It's cold."

"I don't want to, Valtik. For once it's not raining or snowing up here. It's a nice view," she replied. "Fine, if you won't come down, I'll come up."

"By all means if you think you can."

Soon, he was sitting on the branch in front of her, looking up at the sky as well. "Tell me about your parents, sera. We've known each other for a year and you still haven't told me about them."

"They were murdered. That's all you need to know, Val."

"Very well," he sighed out quietly.

They were silent for a while, listening to crickets and the occasional wolf howl.

"I'm going to sleep now," she said, climbing down the tree. Valtik swung down and dropped down in front of her.

"Let me be with you tonight, sera. Let me help."

She regarded him in the moonlight for a moment and took his hand.

_Please, _the dark elf whispered to her mind, _put your faith in me. I will not let you suffer alone._

_Yes. But on one condition..._

_I want you here, in my thoughts. I want you._

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River woke curled next to a warm and very naked body. She slid out of bed carefully to not wake Valtik.

She dressed quietly and ran her fingers through Valtik's now disheveled hair. He mumbled in his sleep and shifted. She kissed his cheek and slipped out the door to go outside.

She let out Stati and got her saddle buckled on. She climbed into the saddle and turned the horse towards the road. "Let's go, girl. Same place as always."

They navigated down the narrow mountain path to a fallen tree that laid across the waterfalls below the cliff River's house sat on.

"Alright. I'm leaving you here. Don't run off again, please."

She walked to the middle of the tree and sat down, crossing her legs and resting her hands in her lap.

She in silence for a while until she heard the roar of a sabre cat. She looked around for the animal and finally spotted it on a ledge down the river. It was currently swiping at a man, backing him up to the edge.

The cat lunged at the man, knocking him off balance. River watched in horror as the cat swiped at him one last time, knocking the man into the water.

Before she thought any better of it, River leaped off the tree and fell into the swift current. She swam to the man, who was washed up against a rock.

She grabbed him and wrapped her arms around him, turning her back downstream. She let the water push her up onto the riverbank. She laid there with the man halfway on top of her, breathing heavily. She whistled for Stati, praying the horse could hear her.

Waiting for the horse, she sat up and looked at the man. He had gashes everywhere on him. She healed what she could, but she tired quickly.

"Hey. What is your name?" She asked the man, who was fading in and out of consciousness. "Hey! Stay awake!" She slapped his cheek a few times. "What is your name?"

When he still didn't answer her, she growled and laid a hand on his forehead.

_Hey! Stay awake. Stay awake! What is your name? Talk to me._

She waited for him to grasp what was happening. Then finally came a response.

_What..? What are you doing?_

_What is your name?!_

"Isaac," he whispered out loud before losing all consciousness.


End file.
